I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
