No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize