Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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