We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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