My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
