i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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