Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize