after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
