do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Less talking, more tequila
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
