she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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