Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
