Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize