I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
