the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were trust falling into bushes
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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