Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
