people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
These tits shall not be calmed
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