If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
