I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
