Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
