wrigley field is MILF paradise
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
