I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
