apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
