Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
