I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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