In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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