I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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