you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
