There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
