i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
