names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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