best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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