Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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