Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
