i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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