On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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