So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
