I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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