I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
