If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
