cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
