i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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