member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
