Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I believe in your delicious
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
