I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
People in love make me want to vomit
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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