There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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