the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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