He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
