I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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