Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Panties = found
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
