So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
