he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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