wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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