My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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