i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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