im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
