...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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