how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
