I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
