if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
