WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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