Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize