I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
