question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
