I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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