I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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