i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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