i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want nice things and good sex
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
