I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
