Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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