3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
