I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
