This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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