he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
