He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
