return my video game
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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