this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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