FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
