Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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