I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
