Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She even gives head with a lisp.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
