I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
