Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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