Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
