you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize